the best 7:59 seconds of your life, 'the cruise' 

"sincerity is one of my favorite victories in this lifetime"

"for the simple moments when i feel actual passion"

"to be able to exhibit that i am thrilled to be alive and to be still respected. the more soulful of us... might say look why would you care about respect from others just i mean the thrill of being alive is your own business, you can do that alone in your living room. it is about flesh, it is about waves, undulating."

"but come the weekend, goddamnit, i will appreciate the beauty of the flower, and then likewise i will stand exhibitionistic having the flower appreciate the beauty of me." 

holy fucking eloquence, the only person i feel like listening to right now. 

 





THE THINGS I MISS: 
+best friend in boston
+best friend an hour away
+stability and good energy
+cooking dinners on friday nights
+last fall, last october and november
+hot yoga wednesdays
+my dog and when she barks in her sleep.

i want to be on a plane/plain and not in this state for a while. i don't know what i'm doing or where i am going or who i want to be or be around and i don't know if i want to cut my hair or grow it long, curl up for a while or run for hours etc.

the show this weekend was alright considering we haven't played for ages. we're playing with bowerbirds in november and at the copycat in october and hopefully i'll save up enough money to get the same microphone as the guy in woods. i need to start reading more, and writing again too. 

this makes up for a bad first hour of work:

an hour of kindness and kaddish e.p. review 

!!!

 

+ think i might grow my hair long, and by long i mean i'll see how long i can go without chopping it back to it's usual short state. 
+ show tonight, first in three or so weeks, what. also a video session before and i am really tired but not drunk anymore, okay. 

i don't know i don't know i don't know. also: let us write things? i have ample paper and stamps and no real free time but nothing to do. 

 got too much love. LOGICALLY letting go, but i have never been one of the brain, my everything tells me otherwise.